I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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