Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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