just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
