I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
