How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
