Im at strip club and am horny
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
