11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
