I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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