The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
