You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
