stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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