someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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