well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize