About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize