Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
