Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i dont even know how to be here
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
