I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
