he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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