So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Sext me about skeletons
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
