Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
