He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
