You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
