My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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