Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It's blow job season.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
