Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
What a dumb baby whore.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
