PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize