The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
