Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize