Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize