I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
