google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
