Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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