You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Every concussion has its silver lining
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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