So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
