some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
