My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
