If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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