nut hugger
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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