I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
