eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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