So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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