thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
