google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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