Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
