Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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