I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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