This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
