Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
