I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
