Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
