Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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