I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he fucked my hip out of place.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
