i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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