Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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