a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
