I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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