Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
