just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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