I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
