She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
