Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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