It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
