I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize