New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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