My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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