Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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