im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
