yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Everclear isn't food dammit
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
