I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I will pee on everything he values.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
