Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
