I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
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