You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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