he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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