Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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