Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
