would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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