All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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