The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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