So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
