Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
