so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
birth control should be required to get into college
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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