There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
last night I used snow as a chaser
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
