OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
