I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
