i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
