I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
